Work Out

While I was pregnant with The Kid, I got big. I mean huge. Like almost twice my weight huge. So I promised myself that I would lose it all after I had her. I was not going to be one of those mothers I saw at the grocery store: haggard, tired, wearing her husband's sweatsuit while their kids were dressed in the newest Gymboree. Not me. I was gonna be the "are you her babysitter?" mom. But, like many good ideas, this one got lost by the wayside. To my defense, I was busy. I worked and took care of a baby (who I breastfed and co-slept with, so there.) And I never, ever, went out of the house without make-up or in a sweatsuit. (Full disclosure though; I did go out in a velour sweatsuit once, for like 30 minutes, but I wore sunglasses and a ball cap so I looked more like a hung-over celebrity than a new mom who hasn't slept in three days.)
So, since The Kid is almost a year old, I decided that it is unacceptable for me to look like I've just had a baby. It's not that I'm overweight. I'm a good weight for someone who's 6 foot tall. But my problem is that I'm 5'4. And since it's impossible to find good quality human growth hormone outside of major league baseball, I decided I would work out. 'I'll hit it hard and work off this huge ass.' I thought. How better to do that than with one of those ever-popular work out videos. I was a moron to think this, but I didn't know that yet.
In an effort to work it off real fast, I decided to try P90X. From the infomercial it looked like exactly what I needed; an ass-kicking. Sweet. I was ready to bust it out, but what it really did was bust me. I should have known there was going to be problems when there's a disclaimer at the beginning that says "You must meet minimum physical requirements". What does that even mean? I didn't know and was too lazy to find out. What I did find out , after two days of sore everything and a lot of dry heaving, was that I definitely did not meet the 'minimum physical requirements'. For your information, these 'requirements' are probably that you can run a five minute mile and be an ex-marine. All I did was push out a 8lb 3oz baby with no working epidural. I was a wimp, but I wasn't giving up that easy.
Since I can't bench press 120lbs, I'm gonna do it the hard way; with diet and exercise. I know, those two words make me shudder too.
"How has it gone?" you may ask. Well, the first week I thought I was going to die of a heart attack (and of lack of fat and sugar), but I made it. I'm three weeks into it now and I go out running/walking 3.3 miles every day and have cut down my food intake by, well, alot. I've actually lost weight (gasp!). So, 'Yay Me!'. I say I deserve a cupcake... or three.