The Death of Irony

I know I'm not the funniest or coolest cat on the block, but I like to think I still have a little bit of it.
Obviously, I'm the only one.
I noticed this yesterday on Facebook (Yes, Facebook. So what.) A "mommy friend" of mine had put on her status, "Disney is so expensive". So I did what any self-respecting 20-something would do:  I replied " Yeah, especially when you figure in all the alcohol you'll need for the Electric Light Parade.."
Absolutely no one thought that was funny.
What? Was one of the side effects of your epidural "sudden loss of  humor"?
It just seems like all these women (and I'm sure some dudes too) just lose any sort of fun once they pop out a baby. Like suddenly jokes about male genitalia and drug use are no longer funny to them. I call shenanigans, 'cause that mess is always funny. I'm sure they think "I'm someone's mother. That's so unbecoming". I only have that thought when I debate whether or not I should be buying my clothes from the clearance rack at Hot Topic.

Mom Jeans

One of my biggest fears in life is snowman sweaters. It's right up there with people in cartoon character costumes, driving a minivan, frogs and rabbits. This very real and very rational fear started when Bubba and I decided we wanted to have a baby. It's one of those things you never notice as a teenager because you're so cool and waaay too important to even look at anybody else. (Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about).
When we started this whole 'let's have a baby' thing I started to notice all these women out with their kids and one thing hit me. "Holy Crap. Save me from that." I thought. The kids would be dressed to the nines with their little Gymboree outfits with matching, well, everything, and the moms looked, well, haggard. They looked like they had just run a marathon... for three days... through the swamp...ending at a Michael Bolton concert.
They wore things that made me shudder; things like:
Pants with elastic
Sweaters that notified everyone as to what season/holiday it was
White tennis shoes (think more Nurse Ratchett than Serena Williams)
Jewelry made of buttons, clothes pins, bells, or any combination of the three
Twin Sets and pleated khakis

I'm not claiming to be the coolest, but I sure as hell didn't want to end up like that. I also didn't want to go in the other direction. You know what I'm talking about: mothers who look like they raided their tween daughter's closet. Now, I'm all down with being... ahem... "timely", but there's just something creepy about a 39 year old woman in jeggins and a t-shirt that says "I 'heart' Justin Bieber". (Yeah, honey I'm sure you do. Now just stay right there so I can call Chris Hanson and the "To Catch a Predator" crew...). I'll admit it; I am a fan of skinny jeans, Chuck Taylors and buffalo plaid, but I try no to look like I just got scooped out of a gutter in front of a community garden in Brooklyn. Finding a happy medium is what it's all about: and that means not trying to embarrass your kids, or your significant other with your unfortunate wardrobe choices.