Magic Words

     The Kid is bow required to say "Please" and "Thank You". I know, she's only 18 months old, but good manners start young (and I really can't stand rude kids). Anyway, now she thinks as long as she says one of these two phrases along with "Uh Oh" she can do whatever she wants and receive no punishment. For example, if she puts her dirty kid fingers in your dinner she says "Thank You" as she shoves it in her mouth. Or, she'll drop her cup on the floor and yell "Uh Oh" as she sits in a pool of juice. Better yet, when she really wants something she'll say "Pleeeeeaaaaassseee" while she trying to take it from you.The Please-and-Thank-yous don't bother me at all. It's the "Uh ohs" and "No ways" that really get me though.
Like this morning: I called mom to check on The Kid and she if she's taking a nap or set the house on fire or whatever. Mom answers the phone and laughs. "Is she sleeping?" I ask. "No" mom replies "I put her in her crib and she's been talking. When the phone rang she said 'Uh Oh'". 'Uh Oh's right' I think to myself. She knows it's nap time and she knows it's me calling to check.
In short, 'Uh Oh' means 'I've been caught'. If she decides she's going to try to make it all the way up the stairs before I notice she's not standing beside me, 'Uh Oh' is a completely innocent and acceptable phrase to say as I run up the stairs (two at-a-time mind you) behind her. It's like saying 'Oh, aren't I cute? Don't you still love me even though I'm trying to kill myself and give you a heart attack all at the same time?'. Just like 'Please' means 'I'm going to say this as sweet as I can and hope that you will give me some of what you have before I forcibly take it from you'.
At least it's better than some of the other things she's been saying lately: specifically "No Way".
If I tell her not to feed the dogs off the table she says "No Way". If I tell her not to put her hands in the toilet, she kicks and screams "NO WAY!!!". Cute the first time; kinda funny the second, really annoying the 7,345th.

It's kinda funny how quick kids figure these things out for themselves. I thought we were safe from this kind of thing (mostly because she's an only child and isn't around other kids enough to conspire and trade tips).
Alas, no parent is safe, I fear. It's like when your mother said "You're going to get yours 10-fold when you have kids". It's not that I didn't believe her, I just didn't think I was that mean.