Well, I learned my lesson. Babies, changing tables and hairbrushes don't mix. I found this out the hard way.
It was a couple of Fridays ago and I was getting the kid ready to go to my mother's house. As I usually do, I put The Kid on the changing table so I could put her diaper and her clothes on. She's at the stage now where she's the biggest wiggle-worm/temper tantrum-thrower, so I sometimes hand her something to play with, like a hair brush. Those little distractions usually buy me about 20-25 seconds, so that means I have to get her taken care of in about 15.
Anyway, I had just put her diaper on and I needed to get her outfit so I sat her up on the table with the hairbrush in her hand and sat down to go through her clothes.
*Those of you that don't have children: Read the following carefully!*
* Deadly Mistake #1: You never, ever leave a child on a changing table alone.(If you do, you're an idiot and a poor parent and you should-and will- be beaten about the head with a hairbrush.)*
So, as I was trying to pick out an outfit from the piles and piles of clothes it dawned on me to check on the kid. About the exact time I had that thought something struck me. Literally. It was a hairbrush, connected to a baby's arm, connected to an ENTIRE BABY.
Yes, The Kid wanted to brush what little hair I have and thought she could just lean over the side of the table and do it. What she ended up doing is almost killing us both. When she landed, The Kid could have cared less. After sitting there stunned (probably more from that fact that she landed perfectly upright in my lap than from the near-death experience) she proceeded to crawl onto the floor and start playing with the brush again like nothing happened.
After my initial shock from the realization that I almost grievously injured my child wore off, and I stopped hyperventilating, I laughed. Yes, because I'm That person. Parent Of The Year, right here folks.
Anyway, I had just put her diaper on and I needed to get her outfit so I sat her up on the table with the hairbrush in her hand and sat down to go through her clothes.
*Those of you that don't have children: Read the following carefully!*
* Deadly Mistake #1: You never, ever leave a child on a changing table alone.(If you do, you're an idiot and a poor parent and you should-and will- be beaten about the head with a hairbrush.)*
So, as I was trying to pick out an outfit from the piles and piles of clothes it dawned on me to check on the kid. About the exact time I had that thought something struck me. Literally. It was a hairbrush, connected to a baby's arm, connected to an ENTIRE BABY.
Yes, The Kid wanted to brush what little hair I have and thought she could just lean over the side of the table and do it. What she ended up doing is almost killing us both. When she landed, The Kid could have cared less. After sitting there stunned (probably more from that fact that she landed perfectly upright in my lap than from the near-death experience) she proceeded to crawl onto the floor and start playing with the brush again like nothing happened.
After my initial shock from the realization that I almost grievously injured my child wore off, and I stopped hyperventilating, I laughed. Yes, because I'm That person. Parent Of The Year, right here folks.
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