Hoover

The kid can find anything on the floor; grass, dog food, small pieces of plastic, etc. Yesterday The Kid found one of those little pieces of plastic and put it in her mouth. And then swallowed. And then choked.
It's not like I just let her wander around a nasty house picking up potentially hazardous things off the floor. The carpet does get vacuumed...sometimes. The fact is, if you're missing something (coins,push pins, diamonds, Nazi gold, the holy grail) , The Kid can probably crawl around and find it; you'll just have to wait a few days to get it back.
So yesterday, I had left The Kid downstairs to play while I was cleaning up upstairs. I think it's important that I note that she was not by herself. My mother, father and Bubba were all in the same room with her, watching her. So, there I was, trying to find a home for half the crap we have thrown up there, when all of a sudden I hear it. The most blood-curdling scream in the world. The one that makes it sound like "I'm really and truly dying" cry, not just "I know that's not mine, but you took it away from me so I'm going to make you sorry" cry. (Yes, there is a difference). I run downstairs to see what the problem is and there's my child, sitting in her Gran's lap with the reddest face and eyes you've even seen, sobbing. "What happened?" I asked. "She swallowed a little piece of plastic and choked" my dad replies. He looks like she just drank a bottle of Drano and was now foaming at the mouth. I look back at The Kid."Did she spit it up?" I asked. Judging by the look on my Father's face, I begin to get truly concerned. "She's fine..." mom says, "I flipped her over, popped her on the back and she spit it right out." I pick up The Kid to get a good look at her. "Are you ok?" I asked. She's still crying a little. Maybe she's traumatized from her near death experience. She's whimpering and sucking in air; an Oscar worthy performance. "It's ok baby" Bubba tells her. "Here, this'll make it better" and out comes a Sonic cup. The Kid's eyes light up like Christmas. That all-organic, vegetarian, gluten-free diet I've had her on since day one means nothing right now as she grabs that red straw and gets a mouthful. She gulps down that cranberry limeade and gives us a big smile. I suppose that does make it all better. Or , it just helps wash down whatever else she shoved in her mouth when we weren't looking.